peace be upon him... may he rest in peace..

4Th January 2009 at 1.28am
location: room 1, 45 maple street, ts1 3ds, m'bro uk
i was doing my assignment when i received her call.

all i can recall the voice of my ummi crying.
i wasn't clear of what she's trying to say.
and finally i get what she meant..
the purpose of her call was to let me know..that my beloved grandfather.. the only grandfather i have is gone forever..

the moment i know the fact.. i cant control myself.
the memories of me and him keep on playing in my head.
his face, his smile.. his jokes. his touched.. his smells..
everything keep on playing in my head.
slowly my tears spilt from my eyes.

since then i cant even smile..
the world are totally different this time.
i cant think of anything accept him.

how i wish i could be there, beside him on his last breath..
Allah please give me strength.
i wish i could witness her funeral.

everytime i imagine my life without him i started crying..
the most sadness event in my life.
i guess i have cried more than 1 litre of tears..

now i understand the feelings of someone who have lost their love ones.
Allah please don't let me go through this sadness again.
or if i have too. please guide me.. give me strength.